Q. What are you doing to prepare for an upcoming zombie apocalypse and/or the return of Mel Gibson to the silver screen? (Both of which could be terrifying.)
A. OMG! I love this question! Lucky for me, I’m married to a hardcore video gamer/retired soldier/self proclaimed zombie defense expert (he’s read all the books so who am I to argue?) so we are well prepared for the zombie apocalypse. I know, you’re jealous. Don’t be. I’ll share tips! I even wrote a blog about it recently. Anyway, my husband has a plan. It involves machetes, shotguns, a lot of nonperishable food, and ripping out the stairs to our home, which by the way, makes me cringe every time he says it, but I suppose in hard times you have to make hard decisions. I on the other hand do not spend my time fantasizing about how to defend our home (clearly he does this enough for both of us). I do my zombie prep via Netflix and Xbox although I suspect killing a zombie in real life is much more terrifying and much slimier than it looks on tv.
As for Mel Gibson, well, let’s just say, I’m not doing anything to prepare. I can accept the possibility of the paranormal, but even I have limits. There are just some things too outrageous to be true, so why worry about them? I’ll spend my time preparing the inevitable… like zombies!
Snapple Real Fact #910: Less than 2% of the water on Earth is fresh.
(Hmm… My Brita just moved up on my list of favorite things. JK. I’m not a complete twit. I get it. 98% of the water on Earth is saltwater or other. And yes, mom, I realize that even tap water is filtered before being pumped out to the masses. Still doesn’t mean I’m going to drink it without my Brita.)
Talk about a perfect storm. And no, I don’t mean the five days of rain in the forecast or the ongoing flood watch.
First, my sister sent me a link to the worlds’ first (and probably only) zombie proof house (Check it out at www.all-that-is-interesting.com ). Anyone who knows me knows that my husband is OBSESSED with zombie preparedness. So while she probably thought this was hilarious, we found it kind of, you know, interesting and enviable. Come on… It’s a win/win. He gets a zombie proof house, I get an indoor pool!
Then, I’m warned that 5/21 (which is most notably my husband’s birthday) is scheduled to be the end of the world. Sorry prophets, no time for that. I’ve got a To Do list that’s far from fun size!
And now the CDC is getting in on the action with a ‘Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse’ blog post. How cool is that? Very, I think. I love zombies! Okay, but seriously. I commend the CDC for finding a relevant way to connect with the public. Kudos. BUT… there were some big, glaring oversights in the post (says the wife of a zombie preparedness expert!). They hit all the highlights for disaster preparedness, but I have to tell you… they’re amateurs.
For example, I know that one of the first things you do is fill up all of your bathtubs with water because those couple of gallons the CDC wants you to pack away in the basement will run out. And when society breaks down, clean water will be one of the first things to go.
Oh, and most notably missing from the blog is an actual means of self-defense. Really? Just one lousy utility knife? Chances are you’ll get your brains sucked out before you have a chance to use it! I recommend something a little larger and more menacing, but that’s just me.
So, in light of all this glorious zombie-mania, here’s my contribution to the crazy! Enjoy!
Top 5 Favorite Zombie Movies:
1. Resident Evil
2. 28 Days Later
4. Shaun of the Dead
5. Dawn of the Dead
(Disclaimer: Most notably missing is George A. Romero’s Night of the Living Dead because it’s kind of a given!)