Being an indie author is pretty darn cool most days. But then there are those days where you question everything. And by everything, I mean E-V-E-R-Y thing. Apparently I’m having one of those days today and I can’t help but think that life would be so much easier with a crystal ball. Heck, I’d take a Magic 8 ball at this point, but only if it’s the really girly pink one.
When I have to make tough decisions, there’s always that whisper of self-doubt saying what if? And as much as I’d like to squash it, I’m only human. I worry, and obsess and probably drive my husband bat-shizz crazy throughout the decision-making process. Then I make the decision and worry some more. It’s just what I do.
I had to act on a really tough decision today, one I’ve been obsessing (yes, obsessing) over for months to give up something I love. (How’s that for vague?) It was hard. Really. Hard. Hell, I’m still sweating it now. But I have to believe it’s for the best in the long run. Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be no matter how bad you want them and tough choices have to be made. It’s a fact of life– indie or otherwise.
My only comfort? I’ve got a great support network to see me through! And that is what being indie is all about. So, now it’s vacation time for me and when I return, I’m fully committed to a renewed focus on my family and my writing.
I never really thought of myself as the ‘slacker’ type, but I’ve been having a little trouble finding my motivation lately. Actually, it reminds me of a Green Day song! Anyway, between work and remodeling my kitchen (Oh, yeah. DIY all the way), I haven’t managed to write much or find the time to *gasp* read! Appalling, I know.
Maybe it’s the end of summer blues? None of the available titles on my TBR list have really got me ready to curl up with my Kindle. However, I was lurking in the blogosphere today and I found two great reviews that got my attention and went straight to the top of my TBR list. (Isn’t it amazing how contagious one blogger’s enthusiasm can be? So much better than a sterile blurb on Amazon!)
I’m also about halfway through the outline for my second manuscript, but I seem to be stuck on that one little pivotal point that requires me to rethink my logic. I wouldn’t exactly call it writers block, but it’s a definitely a puzzle I haven’t solved yet. And it’s giving me even more appreciation for the perseverance of the many wonderful authors I love as they frequently comment on the fact that writing the second book is more challenging than the first. For me, I’m taking it as a sign of personal growth which I hope will be reflected in my writing!
Just a few mores hours until the weekend so I think I’ll go download Daimon and delve into Jennifer Armentrout’s world of the Covenant.
Snapple Real Fact #687: The average cat can jump five times as high as its tail is long.
(Big deal. I have a dog that can run backwards and one that can catch a treat off of her nose! Sorry, cat lovers. Ours will always be a dog house!)
Everyone loves the weekend, right? Probably you don’t care why I love it so much, but here goes anway!
1. Freedom: No day-job work (usually).
2. Friday Night Ritual: Me, my husband, pizza and Netflix. (I know. Pretty sexy. Don’t hate.)
3. Blogging: Finding the time to post on my site and catching up on my favs!
4. Reading: This weekend I read Kiersten White’s debut novel Paranormalcy. L-O-V-E-D it!
5. Writing: Unlimited time to work on my manuscript and rework potential problem areas.
So last week I did a little whining about my rejection letters. In my ongoing quest for full disclosure, I have to admit that I did have one agent take a hard look at my manuscript. Talk about highs and lows! Anyway, said agent elected to pass based on the first 3 chapters. I was beyond disappointed. I almost cried. But I put on my big girl pants and reminded myself that it’s the name of the game. There’s no crying in baseball and there sure as hell isn’t room for tears in the publishing industry. I’ve been told over and over that it’s a cutthroat business.
And I thought I was ready. I work in a pretty tough business today. I’ve had my ideas stolen, been lied to, stepped on, and stabbed in the back. Trust me. Skin gets thicker. But this feels more personal somehow. I guess because they’re my own words and no matter how dedicated I’ve been to my day job and no matter how much pride I take in my work, it’s just not as near and dear to my heart as this manuscript. For me it symbolizes the fruition of a lifelong dream and the opportunity to do something I really love.
Here’s the upshot of last weeks rejection: I got the message loud and clear. The opening of my MS needed more punch. I certainly don’t want to land in the ‘did not finish’ pile and I want the reader to want more. So I spent the weekend reworking the intro and I feel good about it. Yeah, I wish I’d figured it out sooner, but there’s no value in second guessing the past. What’s done is done. Time to learn a little something and move on.